The downfall of Aphopis
by bee3
Summary: Well... it was kt-chans idea there is my sense of humour mixed with austin powers and references to anime and cartoons i won't do this again thats for sure! ^_^ I LIED I ADDED ANOTHER CHAPTER!!! hahahahaha u'll luv this....
1. Default Chapter

  
the downfall of Aphopis  
  
  
by bee  
  
  
Disclaimer: this is not mine! I own nothing!  
  
  
Spoliers: NONE this fic is just random madness!  
  
  
well thanx kt-chan she is my co-writer and you have her to thank for this random madness as she is the expert on stargate!  
  
  
  
It was mayhem with a capital m at base the gaou'ld were attacking through the stargate with the sg1 team stuck on the other side held back from crossing through by Aphopis.   
  
'Where the Hell are sg1 they should of been back by now?' shouted General hamond tearing into the technitians room 'they should have been back an hour ago!'  
'Sir sg1's signal is coming through the gate but its very weak, we think they may have been trapped by the gaou'ld army!'  
  
  
meanwhile on the other side..... (not that otherside!)  
  
  
'Damn it Carter! we need more ammo!' hollered the Jack   
'We're out sir! all we have left is a knife, a tommy gun a bazuka and a peice of very old cheese'  
O'neil rolled his eyes this was a peacefull planet they sai no people no signs of habitation and no naqhudah(sp?) either and this us when Aphopis chooses to attack.   
Just Great and now they were going to fight him with out of date dairy products! could this mission get any worse?  
  
It got worse.  
  
Aphopis appeared in front of him shaking with manical laughter on the small plateau they were on and gripped his shoulders grinning. But Jack wasn't taking any of that  
'Now teal'c throw the knife!' and saying so spun the "God" round to face the oncoming blade. But Aphopis turned round and just grinned intoning  
'Time to die O'neil'  
'Carter the tommy gun!' and with that he was forced to wath in horrified fascination as the Evil One shook with the blows of the bullets.   
Jack could'nt believe it he was still alive!  
'Why won't you die?' he heard himself asking angrily was this guy indestructable or something?? but he swore it was just a regular human body....  
  
'Daniel Do Something!' he heard the major shout as he was pushe towards the edge and could feel the updraught on his neck.  
THat was when everyone heard the inhuman scream and watched as Dr Daniel Jackson investigator of ancient artifacts (A.N.rocks ^_^) whipped a huge rocket launcher out of hammerspace aimed and fired all in a space of just a few seconds.  
  
Aphopis blinked as he was swept over the brink with a rocket now sticking through his chest he grinned at jack *at least he's going with me* he thought and said aloud  
'this time you will DIE O'neil!'  
'Why won't you die?' Jack repeated angrily shouting this time. manouvreing himself so aphopis would land first and he would land on top of him he caught Aphopis shouting at him  
'The fall will kill us both O'neil!!!!'  
and with that they landed Jack amazingly getting up staight away and waiting for the rest of sg1 to join him before stealing a veichle and speeding towards the gates and diving through miraculously unharmed despite the energy blasts being fired their way.  
  
The next day.....  
Sam walks out of her quarters and finds Daniel meaning to ask him a few questions. she does and asks him just how he managed the stunt with the rocket launcher the other day in response to this a huge bead of sweat forms on the side of his head and he places his right hand behind his head and his left hand on his hip and laughs nervously  
'Just something i saw on tv' he replies and stares amazed as sam fall over on the floor  
'Sam... are you okay?.... you really should watsh it when it says the floors wet....'  
  
thanx   
  
  
lil' box that is blue  
fill it in and review! 


	2. 4 go mad on gaea- Part one how Ariel met...

4 go mad on gaea- Part one how Ariel met SG1  
  
  
  
Disclaimer : like i could ever own the sg1 team the stargate and the cheyenne mountain base pulease!  
  
Spoilers:again none unless u watch escaflowne and have not seen the end of it u may want to turn away now.  
  
for any one else escaflowne is an anime cartoon where a boy called van who's a king has a huge robot that can change into a dragon and is helped by a knight called allen a princess called milerene and a cat girl called merl, they live on a planet called gaea. he has a huge crush on a girl called hitomi kanzaki who's from earth. all else will be revealed in the fic!  
  
  
After the little escapde on their last mission the rest of the sg1 team had been cautious around daniel and firearms. but their next "quest" was fast approaching they were, in fact, just about to go through the stargate although they didn't know what the parachutes were for.  
  
General Hammond had been sketchy with the details just telling them that they would have to count to ten then pull.   
'Ready campers?' asked the colonnel surveying his friends 'then lets go'  
as they felt the familiar rollercoaster ride through the stargate rush past them three of them wondered the same thing, whilst the fourth pondered what a bap was, why did they sell baps in packs of ten and hot dogs in cans of eight????  
  
Then they hit the air each counting to ten before they opened their parachutes and came floating down in a world that was remarkably like that of earth apart from the two moons hanging in the sky one of which seemed vaugley familliar........  
THen they hit reality with a bang... actually it was more of a muffled thud and had some cursing thrown in on O'Niels behalf. teal'c glanced around affirming that no goa'uld had ever been here.   
  
They were at the edge of an ocean and were very suprised when a wave rose above the rest revealing a very pretty girls head staring at them. Her eyes were twice the size of her race and deep blue set deep in her face which was framed by flame red hair a small crab sat on her shoulder.  
  
  
before anyone could comment they were all hauled under the water by huge octopus arms and found them selves in oxygen bubbles.  
  
At that point they all heard the beginnings of a song that was very familliar to sam....  
  
  
The seaweed is always   
greener in somebody   
else's bay  
  
  
'Uh-oh... sir...'  
  
  
you dream about going up there   
that is a big mistake  
  
  
'I really think we should leave...'  
  
  
just look at the world around you  
right here on the ocean floor  
such wonderful things around you  
what more is you looking for  
  
  
'Interesting O'Niel i did not know that crustaceans were able to sing'  
'.... there not' both gazed at the little red crab singing his heat out on a rock. then grimaced as Daniel was dragged away on a school of fish beating the sides of his bubble.  
  
  
under the sea  
under the sea  
darling, it's better down where it's  
wetter  
take it form me  
  
  
'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH help me jack!' was heard from daniel as the mermaid he now realised swam up to him pressing her hands to the bubble.  
  
  
up on the shore they work all day  
out in the sun they slave away  
while we devoting full time to floating  
under the sea  
  
  
'Sir this is from a childrens film at home! its not real!'  
'Do you think its an alternate reality then Carter?' he asked as the mermaid now began to dance with daniel.  
'Possibly sir'  
  
  
down here all the fish is happy  
as off through the waves they roll  
the fish on the land ain't happy  
they sad cause they on the bowl  
  
  
'You know suthin' Carter? i could really go for some sushi now'  
  
  
but fish in the bowl is lucky  
they in for a worser fate  
one day when the boss get hungry  
guess who's gonna be on the plate   
what? No! Under the sea  
  
  
the crab glared at them for interupting his son but carried on whilst teal'c began to manouver his bubble nearer to daniels with a determined look on his face.  
  
  
under the sea  
nobody beat us, fry us,  
and eat us in fricassee  
we what the land folks loves to cook  
under the sea we off the hook  
we got no troubles, life is the bubbles  
under the sea, under the sea  
  
  
'mmmmh,fricasseed fish' smiled O'Niel leering at the mermaid who had now swam over to him   
  
  
under the sea, under the sea  
since life is sweet here, we got it beat  
here naturally, naturally  
e-e-even the sturgeon and the ray  
they get the urge and start to play  
we got the spirit, you got to hear it  
under the sea  
  
  
'Sg1's eyes bugged out as the assortment of fish pulled out instruments from nowhere just like daniel had and began to play them perfectly with there fins....  
  
  
the newt play the flute, the carp play the harp  
the plaice play the bass, and they sounding sharp  
the bass play the brass, the chub play the tub  
the fluke is the duke of soul yeah.  
the ray, he can play, the ling's on the strings  
the trout rocking out, the black fish, he sings  
the snelt and the sprat, they know where it's at  
and, oh, that blowfish blow.  
ah-hah  
  
  
'i am now very, very scared' announced sam ' this is just like cassandras video of the little mermaid same characters song setting...' her voice trailed off her eyes were so huge they had begun to rival the half girl half fish thingys eyes.  
  
  
yeah, under the sea  
under the sea, under the sea  
when the sardine begin the beguine  
it's music to me  
what do they got, a lotta sand  
we got a hot crustacean band  
each little clam here, know how to jam here  
  
  
'mmmhh, clam chowder....' jacks eyes grew hungry.  
  
  
under the sea  
each little slug here, know how to wail here  
that's why it's hotter under the water  
we in luck here, down in the muck here  
under the sea  
  
  
at that point every fish scattered doing what fish usually no rather to nochalantly for sg1's liking.  
  
Ariel?  
oh, somebody's got to... nail that girl's  
fins to the floor  
  
At that point SG1 were thrown out of the water and landed safe, dry and very very stunned on the beach  
'WHat the hell just happened here?' demanded Jack  
Sam and Daniel gazed at him whilst teal'c replied  
'We were dragged into the sea imprisoned in bubbles of oxygen and sung to by a horde of sea dwelling creatures, O'Neil'  
'thats just what i thought....'  
'colonnel?' piped up Carter 'its about to get worse....' and with that pointed to the sky where there seemed to be a floating fortress.....  
'oh cr...'  
  
  
  
  
i know i promised but i couldn't resist muwhahahahaha this time thank anyone who reviewed it only eggs me on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*cackles maddly*  
  
bee 


End file.
